Why ?

BAD TEMPER.
The way i talked , like as if i wanted to fight.
What's wrong with me ? I don't used to be like this.
Computer lags , so does human being too. Get what i mean ?
I'm way too slow to follow up to God. ):
What happened to me ? Why am i behaving in this manner ?
Take for example , my papa was joking around with me.
Pushing me away , and i started to scold him ?
And also , they were asked to do some stuffs , and they totally forgotten about it.
My face turned black. Like why ? Even my parents say that I've changed a lot.
My behavior. Oh God , I'm sorry ))))):
I really can't leave without you.
It's my fault , trying to act tough without You. Trying to solve my own problems and tends to forget about You.
I've never been praying properly every night.
I've never been reading Bible.
Whole lots of list i need to do , i didn't bother to do it.
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY ]:
I'm really very angry with myself. Why am i so stubborn ?
Man , i'm damn hardcore pissed with my frigging self.
All those promises I've between me and You , somehow i kinda broke those promises.
I really do. I broke my family , myself and Your heart.
I've been feeling like these since a few weeks ago. I feel like crying.