You saw me today. You saw me carrying that heavy burden on my shoulders and when You gently offered to carry it for me, it broke Your heart when I refused and said I could handle it on my own. Whether I could or not, You didn’t want me to, because You knew it would weigh me down until it couldn’t anymore.
Every time I stumbled, You helped me back upon my feet, even though I pushed you away, still insisting I was fine on my own.
As I took my focus from You, depended on my own strength and ignored You when You called out to me, I became more and more weakened and distressed with every step I took. I kept falling over, Dad. I kept taking steps back. I kept stopping, insisting I couldn’t go a step further. “Darling, I’m here. Let me carry this heavy load. Let me carry You through these thorns. Soar with me above this storm. Keep your focus on Me. Listen to My voice as I remind you of My promises. You’re not alone, sweetheart. I can see you struggling, so let Me help you. Please? Let me be your strength when you are weak.” I sat there for a while, dwelling in the lies of the enemy. ‘I can’t do it. I want to die. I need to. I’m worthless. I’m unlovable and unacceptable. No one cares. I’ve lost everyone.’… I went on and on, not even noticing that with every lie that passed my lips, you gained a scar. As I looked at your torn up body, I realised that You had already paid the price to set me free from believing such lies.
Even though You were hurting so much, You opened up Your arms and held me so tight. As I looked up at You, You had that familiar warm, gentle, loving smile and You said “It’s going to be ok, darling. I’m here. We’ll make it through.”
Once again I was reminded that even though our friendships, relationships, circumstances and situations all change… You remain the same. There is no where I can go to escape Your love. There is no pit too deep that You cannot reach down to pull me out of. There is no where I can run or hide from Your protection. You’ll never let me go, even if I stop fighting for myself for a little while, You never will.