today after evening service, pastor jeremy seaward came up and talk to me! we had a great conversation, cause i was super nervous cause caucasians makes me very happy whenever i talk to them omg sounds cheasy, and also he knew that i wad 'away' for a long time, he was wuite concern with me and asked me how have i been and stuff like this. we had a greattttt talk, he was like my friend when i talk to him i mean like he really cares about you even though he is so busy with so many of the youths!

and also pastor lily came overto hug me and said 'glad that you came back'
i was like whoa how did you know? okay maybe cause she's the pastor and she have the rights to know about our life?? but anyways, i feel loved, my friends too, didnt know that they really love me and cares for me and worry for me too! yeah now i know, i am not alone....

its hard to get back up once again but i believe with God's help, i can do it! i will be stronger (:
fight till the end!!! amen!